(click image to order)
is his description of the ways and means predators use to get close to their victims.
He states that "charm" is not a noun, it is a verb.
People are not "charming," they use "charm" to elicit a favorable reaction from others. Predators use charm to gain victims trust, so that when they attack, the defenses of whomever they choose to impose their will on will be down and disarmed.
This past weekend I attended my sister's wedding (my other sis is getting hitched in July) and I couldn't help but feel emotional. As happy as I am for her, part of me felt uneasy, because as she embarked on a new phase in her life, she ventured into unknown territory. That unknown made the big brother in me kick into over-protection mode. Thus, I remembered this piece form DeBecker's book and decided to impart it to all of you in this blog.
DeBecker's second piece of advice in conjunction with the idea that people USE charm is that it is ok to be "rude."
I've touched on this one before vis a vis my girlfriend and unwanted attention. however, this one holds water any time be it a vacation, a gas station or (as in my sister's case) a honeymoon.
Do not be afraid to say "no," or to assert yourself. Using confident and strong language, maintaining awareness at all times of your surroundings and situation and employing the body posture of being non-aggressive yet ready (as you will find in the White Collar Warrior Self Protection Skills Home Study Course available here: www.whitecollarwarrior.com/Products.html) you will project an air that says to a potential attacker, "move along." Should you, however, find yourself in a situation where charm is being employed, ALWAYS keep your mind alert. Many victims have become victims by their refusal to say "no" to unsolicited assistance.
Take care, and wish my sis luck on her wedding!
Bobby
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